Dudes did not expect to see me in a relationship. Shit, I didn’t expect to see me in a relationship. But here I am, about 9 months in, looking at the whole thing from a new perspective. I’ll admit, I don’t post men on my story, and if I do, it’s the back of their head. It sounds ice cold, but I just don’t want to look goofy if it doesn’t work. Anyway, it took some time before I started to really post my man on social media. One, I don’t like people knowing what (and whom’st) I’m up to. Slowly, but surely, I began to post little things here and there.  And of course, birds began to flock – as they do.

We all know that when we get a new boyfriend or girlfriend, our DMs start to blow up with randoms and people we tried to fuck with in the past but were playing games. Or maybe they just weren’t really feeling us. It’s almost like they sense a new energy about you. It’s lighter. It’s fewer fucks given. It’s secure. Let’s be honest, people love to be ignored and people love a “challenge.” Some people just love talking to people they have no business talking to.

Let’s just go ahead and say it. I’m not naive. I know this pursuit of someone who’s with somebody is mostly about power and sex, ego and control. Nine times out of 10, the person pursuing you while you’re in a relationship (or single and jusr #notinterested) really just wants to know if they can win you over. They don’t want you. They want to confirm that they’re so special you just can’t deny them. They want to test your happiness. Are you getting the attention you deserve? Are you vulnerable? Is it easy to make you feel wanted? I know, it sounds sick when you read it, but think about it. What’s the goal? 

It happens in a number of ways. Suddenly, they’re interested in what you’re doing and what you’re posting on your story or timeline. The 2 a.m. “wyd” texts come through, as they hope that on this particular night you’re not laid up with your significant other. They now think about you when they’re rolling through your neighborhood and decide to tell you about it.  Some even get satisfaction from just a response, even if you’re turning them down. You still noticed them.

Now listen, I don’t think people really set out to hurt others. I don’t think people wake up and think, “how can I be a sucky person today? Or “how can I ruin a relationship?” I don’t think the intentions are as bad as their actions sound out loud. I truly believe it’s a subconscious act that stems from a number of other things. I think some people truly cannot help themselves. Nevertheless, they’re on bullshit.

Here’s what I have to say to those people, who either missed their chance, didn’t take that person seriously, or decided out of nowhere they now have a crush: CHECK YOURSELF. Really, stop and think about it. Why are you doing this? Do you really want this person? If this person were to break it off and say they want to be with you, would you do what it takes to be in a relationship? Seriously? Even if they are showing interest, is this what you want to do and who you want to be? Then what I want you to do is take those answers and shove them up your ass. Leave them alone!

I, Sabreena NoMiddleName Saleem, along with millions of other taken souls around the world, am literally #NOTINTERESTED. And for fucks sake, you should be, too.